[x]

Graduation DayGraduation Day:

They told us we would be alright...

We had fought with honour and won our titles.

We had overcome trials together -

Watching dozens of our siblings fall in the line of duty.

For this they had promised us, a wondrous welcome;

A bountiful world of adventure, with a myriad of paths.

All this, they said, awaited us in the stone cities.

Large metropolises, where the working folk resided...

There were hundreds of us, who made that journey.

Walking miles across the scorching desert,

Clinging to a hope of the fortunes beyond.

Yet what awaited us was not a promised land -

Nor was it a life based on the merit we had earned.

I wish...I wish I was a monster
So I could be kind
And break the stereotypes.

I wish I was colored
So I could respect people
And break the stereotypes.

I wish I was a man
So I could be kind to women
And break the stereotypes.

I wish I had male friends
So we could all be..
Just friends
And break the stereotypes.

I wish I had autism
So I could prove that autism,
Does NOT mean "dumb".
And I could break the stereotypes.

I wish I could change the world.
But sometimes, you can't break a stereotype.

Only stereotypes, can break you.

Lingerhow can i move forward,
when the fingerprints of my insecurities
are still lingering within my chest,
pressing against my ribs like piano keys?
i am just waiting, for the day,
when the saddest parts of me
are overcome with songs of serenity.

You don't just die.Do you understand?
The blade against your wrist
Doesn't just slice your skin.
It cuts through others
Hearts
Souls
And sanity.

Do you understand?
You don't just kill yourself.
You kill everyone.
Everyone dies
Everyone cries
Everyone suffers
From YOUR goodbyes.

Do you understand?
You don't just die.
You take everyone down
With you.

Pretty Blue PillsPretty blue pills,
shiny in my palm,
the ticket to my peace,
to my eternal calm.

They're so perfectly round,
and soon they'll be in me.
The closest to perfect
that I'll ever be.

They go down so smooth.
Five, ten, fifteen and twenty.
Soon I'll be gone.
Twenty-five and Thirty.

That should be enough,
but I'll play it safe.
Thirty-five and forty.
Now I have no more to take.

The bottle is empty,
as empty as I feel.
None of this is happening,
too good to be real.

But soon I start to drift
into a dark unknown fog.
Somewhere quite distantly.
I hear a muffled sob.

But I blow it off as fake.
Nobody could possibly care.
I doubt anyone's noticed
th

ten ways this breakup isn't meant for the movies1.
you go out for twelve eggs and come back
with half a dozen and a new girlfriend.
you hold the eggs out to me like
six dead birds is enough of a peace offering.

2.
i push the eggs out of your hand and stay
with my hand over your heart as i watch them
fall. if they do not hit the ground, this is all a dream.

3.
the eggs smash on the tile and splatter
on the cherry wood cabinets, newly installed
that cost me two paychecks.

3.
the egg whites hit your leather shoes that
you’ve worn for two months straight
because you think they make you look more sophisticated.

3.
the egg whites hit the fridge halfway up, barely touching
the moose mag

PhantomWhen life
or fate
or whatever it is
that puts things together
and takes them apart...
when It
amputated you,
it left me
with a phantom
limb
and you are still attached
to my body
when I dance
and make love
alone

Dear friend,You have to understand, dear
The reason to why I run.
I run away from reality
From the lungs that cannot
Take anymore smoke
From the heart that threatens to
Stop...
I run away because
I'm a coward
Because I'm afraid of life
Afraid to care or love.
I'm afraid that every time
I'm glad it blows up in my face
And that every time I smile
I shed a million more tears.
That's why I run, dear
You have to understand.
I was destined to be a fighter but
I don't want to fight anymore.
I was destined to be a warrior
But how am I supposed to win when
The war I fight is against life itself?
I know that I always blow everything up but-
I keep stepping on mines, dear...
...I keep stepping on mines...

ellipsisshe goes to sleep
clawing at her chest with pinpoint accuracy
for an emptiness she can’t describe,
but hates all the same. tomorrow

she will write a letter: “dear boy,
i always wanted to be somebody’s
flowery poem, but the verses carved in my arms
are riddled with ugly clichés. & you are why

i don’t sleep through the night. if
we were a language, i was the
subordinating conjunction, you were

the punctuation.

i remember you in staccato
conclusions, solemn absences
of goodbye”

brain squealsI beat depressions in the earth
for my brain squeals and waves
that burst in my wet ears
until something makes me drown.
I will. (again) V.

Virginia,

put rocks in pockets
and walk right in --
I'll drink your overcoat
until your throat weeps
and your soaked hair
weighs you down.

I promise.

with love,
Ouse.

P.S.
brain squeals are from cold sweats
sleep well.

TearsI am not afraid to cry.

I am not afraid for you to see the tears

My tears.

Don’t tell me I have no heart.

Don’t tell me I have no soul.

For without them I could not cry.

You may not see my tears but they are there.

I have learned to let myself cry for the things I’ve loved,

For the things I’ve lost.

They are silent tears, but they are mine.

So let me cry.

Let me show you I have a heart.

Let the things that touch my heart be shown through my tears.

I am not afraid to cry.

I am notI’m not your little boy.
You’re not my little girl.
I’m just someone you met,
And wants to change the world
I’m not the prince in your dreams
I don’t have smarts or might
I’m just the one that screams
And cries to sleep at night
I’m not who you want me to be.
I will never be what you are.
I’m myself, I am free.
I’m not ashamed of my scars
I’m not that weak
You’re not that strong
You still have company
But I’m still alone
So I speak
Though this poem.
It’s not a pretty love song
I’m just saying what pains me, explaining what’s going on.
Because I am not perfect,
I’m not retarded,
I’m just like you,
Broken Hearted
Never forget,
There is always a reason to be
And I won’t regret
I’m always happy to be me.

combatantI.
it strikes me
that this woman
could be a palace.

I marvel at
the opulent dome of
her brow, her arch
expression—

skin like a courtyard of
ivory tiles,
a thousand intersecting
golden lines about her
head and neck.

she beams from atop her
sunlit tower,
beatific and beautiful,

spreads her arms like
open doors,
invites you to be one of

the many
who have wandered her
lavish halls.

II.
I’ve often thought
of myself
as a castle:

all rough-hewn stone
and turrets,
a temper like molten
tar.

my head is crowned
with
embattled parapets,

weapons readied
at the crenels.

I look out from my
guerites, my brattices,
eyes like arrow-slits

Second ShadowThe hand on your shoulder
The whispers in your mind
The words on your tongue
The voice in your throat
And the feelings in your soul

To drive to madness
To seduce the insane
To draw the blood
And dull the senses
To plague the memories
Of damage done
To fake safe haven
As the character changes

Light the anger and fuel the rage
Another mind to feed
A second shadow
To take you into eternity

Remnants

Hold on to my sanity every single day
I’m not gonna fall.
Those hungry, greedy holes you left
They start calling.

Just like a cold-blooded murderer
You use every heart you can find
When will you ever be satisfied?

You destroy everything you build
and tear everyone you love
Just to die and start over again.
Replay, replay, replay...
Until you grow weaker, and weaker.

You never destroyed me.
I destroyed myself to forget you.
I die every day in an endless cycle,
The rotating remnants of revolting hearts.

Just like water, I choke and swallow.
I mirror your mind, your thoughts, and your desire
And just like Narcissus, you fall deeper and

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What RemainsIt's been four months
Four months since tragedy hit
The land has started to heal
Grass stitching itself over the scars
But yet other, hidden scars remain
The small reminders still remain
The survivors still remain
The bowed fences still remain
The scoured banks still remain
And those who are left
They still cry
Inside, they cry
For they have lost so much
And have only torment to show
And yet and yet
And yet they get up in the morning
And yet they smile
While the "unsafe, do not enter," signs adorn their homes
They pick up the pieces
Hand in hand
They pick up the pieces
For that is all they can do
That is all that is left

Running FireYou drink to quench the fire
Gnawing at your throat
But that's just the guilt
Building from the inside
You can't hide the shame
Not even from yourself
When you know
The wrongs you've done
The atrocities of your hands
It will consume you one day
It will be your downfall
You can't hide
When you're hunted by your mind
You can't run
When you're running from yourself

RealThe light in your eyes
Is quickly turning down
You don't smile like you once did
If I closed part of my mind
And squint through my conscious
I could believe, for just one moment
This was real
But all I can see
Is the lie you turned out to be
And all I can do
Is slowly let you go
And hope, for just one moment
It was real

Playing the PartBind my hands
Tie me to the chair
Break my bones
And pull my hair
Do your worst
My heart ne'er break
I'll fight until
You done with fake
Big bad wolf
Tell me what I've done
Read my rights
Charge me I won't run
Conscience clean
Is yours too?
Beat the goodness out
You just waitin' for a cue
You're just a boy
You hide the innocence
For the crime
Pay the penance
I could've helped you
Let me go
You never know
When you'll reap what you sow

Just For NowJust for now
Can we forget all the things I said
And all the things I should have?
Just for now
Can it be like it once was
Before it all fell apart?
Just for now
Can we stop the blaming game?
We both now it was my fault
Just for now
Can I hold you in my arms
And make the stars sing your sweet melody?
Just for now
Let the world stop revolving
All the people stop their talking
Just for now
I will shout my love from the rooftops
I will whisper my adoration in your ear
Just for now
Let it be just you and me
Let me wipe all our past away
Just for now
Forgive me
Just for now
See who I am
Just for now
Love me

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The Only One Left

by ~MrRandom17, Nov 13, 2011, 10:40:02 PM
Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

Shroud in my loneliness
No one sees
Hiding behind my anger
Do you see?
I try so hard
And fall so far
No one there
To hold my hand
No one there
To share my pain
The world is heavy
I reject all help
Then cry when everyone's gone
Wrap my arms around me
Hold it all inside
This darkness I have
I can't let you see
Everyone has run
Will you run too?
I want to run from myself
But there's nowhere left to hide
The mirror's faded
I no longer see
The person I once was
The person I thought I would be
I feel so disappointed
I thought I could be so much more
I feel like I am drowning
Pushing your hand away
I feel like I am drowning
The only one left
Is me

The Only One Leftby ~MrRandom17

Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

I was tossing up whether to put this up or not, but in my opinion it is one of my better pieces of writing. As a good friend once said, "Seems the best of work is born of true sorrow."

~Interim7 Nov 13, 2011 Hobbyist General Artist

I said that yesterday, derp.

~MrRandom17 Nov 13, 2011 Hobbyist Writer

I know. Anything wrong with me using it?

~Interim7 Nov 13, 2011 Hobbyist General Artist

Not at all. Hahaha. Just the way you put it made it sound so muchore epic than it actually was. XD

~MrRandom17 Nov 13, 2011 Hobbyist Writer

Haha, I am a born twister of words. I can twist them without even changing them.

~Interim7 Nov 13, 2011 Hobbyist General Artist

That is not considered a positive human attribute. XD

~MrRandom17 Nov 14, 2011 Hobbyist Writer

I never said it was. But remember what I want to be...

~Interim7 Nov 14, 2011 Hobbyist General Artist

That is REALLY a bad trait for a lawyer to have, Erin. XD

~MrRandom17 Nov 14, 2011 Hobbyist Writer

Nah-uh!!! It's a really good one.

~Interim7 Nov 13, 2011 Hobbyist General Artist

Much more*

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The Only One Left

The Only One Leftby ~MrRandom17

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